apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
This show inspires me to have sex in space
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
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