If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
