i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
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