God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Randomize
