like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Will exercising make me less horny?
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