Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
