Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
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