i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
