Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
areolas are like halos for boobs.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize