I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
