he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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