No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Randomize
