I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
