Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
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