It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
Randomize
