im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
handjob tips. give me some.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Randomize
