You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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