...so i touched it.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
