What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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