Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
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