Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
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