I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
We have so much sex to catch up on
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
