that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
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