I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
I think I won the penis lottery.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
