Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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