my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Randomize
