dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Randomize
