i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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