I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
