I'd wear matching sweaters with you
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
