I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
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