She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Randomize
