You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Randomize
