Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
