Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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