nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
