Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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