i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
