If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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