you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
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