you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
