Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
I smell stomach acid.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
PANTIES FOUND
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
