In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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