Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
