IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
I think I sprained my soul last night
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Don't tell me you're on acid again
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