Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize
