does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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