She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
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