break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
I didn't shave. On purpose
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Randomize
