Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Randomize
