Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Randomize
