Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Randomize
